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12:41amRachel

hi

12:41amJackie

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

you’re taking too long

laaaaaaammmmmmeeee

12:42amRachel

skip it

john: i know what you did last summer

12:42amJackie

or who….

lol sorry

12:42amRachel

she doesn’t even know

look at john

i can see the fear in your eyes

12:43amJackie

it IS stupid

TELEPATHY!

omg

12:43amRachel

john is so coool

rachel is jealous

dan is such a dork

12:44amJackie

maybe fuck yourself

12:44amRachel

john is stupid

12:44amJackie

false

i personally like john

12:45amJackie

…

12:45amRachel

john this is stupid

12:46amJackie

i disagree

i have no idea, no you come up with something

12:47amRachel

follow the rules of the game or else you will die

12:47amJackie

o my god hahahaha, more hahahaha

12:48amRachel

this is NOT a joke

you look asian when you squint

12:48amJackie

you think everyone looks fucking asian

12:49amRachel

if it wasnt for your curly brown hair i would ask which sweat shop you worked in

don’t look at the screen jackie

you have to maintain eye contact with me

12:50amJackie

fine octopus

12:50amRachel

what?

where is the octopus?

12:50amJackie

wouldn’t you like to know

i can see it from where im standing

12:51amRachel

look at me

huhuhuh

wheres the fucking octopus???

12:51amJackie

cocksucker

12:51amRachel

ohhhhh

ohhh god that was harsh

i just dont know what to do

12:52amJackie

thats what the octopus said

12:52amRachel

i hope you don’t enjoy your next meal

12:52amJackie

i hope you get constipated taking your next shit

12:52amRachel

thats impossible, girls don;t poop

you should know

if your a girl

12:53amJackie

maybe your not who i think i am

12:53amRachel

gasp

are you the octopus?

12:53amJackie

the octopus has left the building

12:54amRachel

i don’t give a FUCK about the octopus

i just wanna know, do you poop?

12:55amJackie

the octopus is important because it has the answer to the question

12:55amRachel

;this is how the owrld wil be in a couple of years the girls will be teliing the boys what to do

air high five

12:55amJackie

terrible slap didn’t make the right noise

your a filthy whore

….

12:57amRachel

are you ready dan?

12:57amJackie

oh i’m ready

12:57amRachel

cos i’m gonna open a can of whoop-ass

12:58amJackie

cool i like that kind of stuff

12:58amRachel

faggot

12:58amJackie

well i do shower with guys

12:59amRachel

you never invite me faggot

12:59amJackie

cause i never realized you were a fag

1:00amRachel

well i’m not a fag cocksucker

1:01amJackie

really? why did fred tell me about that one time outside kimmel that you two had a little [ ]

1:02amRachel

fred’s a liar and a thief and a traitor to his country and he has better facial hair than you

1:02amJackie

i don’t associate with liars and cheats so i guess me and fred will no longer have [ ] together

fred’s facial hair can go fuck itself

1:03amRachel

<fart>

1:03amJackie

excuse me for a second i need to use the restroom

if i could raise one eyebrow, i would

…at you guys

1:04amRachel

jackie this is what it would be like if john and dan had an interpreter or an online translator this is the future suck it

1:05amJackie

so you wouldn’t need women…nice. faggot.

1:05amRachel

actually they would need women

to do the typing

1:05amJackie

rachel take over!

1:05amRachel

yeah i know, right!

girls rule

we’re gonna own the world

1:05amJackie

yaaaaaay

1:05amRachel

boys are all farters

1:06amJackie

right, they’re more smelly because they poop and such

1:06amRachel

right

we’re the brains

we have the power

1:07amJackie

not TOO massive a shit i suppose

the consciences have taken over

1:07amRachel

john just says he knows how to lick his butt

he has no idea i just sent that

john just said ‘we have a mutiny on our hands’ but don’t tell dan b/c dan is a man and by virtue an idiot

1:08amJackie

there was piss on the seats and it was crusty and hard on there. it was gross. so i had to switch stalls

1:08amRachel

‘you’re taking this mutiny way too far, down boy down’

‘you’re typing the wrong shit’

‘dan i lost control of my consciounce i think i’m loosing my mind. i’m talking to myself i don’t know what to do’

what a jackass

‘it’s like i have tourettes… testicle’

i dont know what the fuck john is talking about

jackie stop obeying him and just hit him

1:10amJackie

call him a dospot

1:10amRachel

you hate the look he gives you

so kill him

1:11amJackie

with what?

1:11amRachel

it’s ok, consciounse i’m adressing the consciounse

1:11amJackie

yes

1:11amRachel

your fist

1:11amJackie

KILL him with my FIST?

my fists of fury

of pain

1:11amRachel

‘i feel like something’s getting lost in translation dan’ yes, you’re fist jackie

1:11amJackie

of DEATH!

1:11amRachel

YES OF DEATH

john is saying stuff…. whatever…

1:12amJackie

he’s been overriden

oh well

1:12amRachel

‘somethings getting lost in the translation i’m trying to tell you’

‘what if this happened every day’

‘what if everything you’ve ever said to me is not what i heard’

1:13amJackie

‘tell john i miss him. i wish we could meet up because our computers are rebelling against us’

jeez what a faggot

1:13amRachel

i know he showers with guys what do you expect

1:13amJackie

DEEP SHIT

1:13amRachel

‘i’m getting mixed signals’

1:14amJackie

‘tell rachel to shut the fuck up’

1:14amRachel

john’s going homo

1:14amJackie

‘word up’

tell him there’s a position open on our team. you can be a starting short stop

1:15amRachel

he looks kind of like just jack from will and grace now that i think about it

fuckin flamer

‘come now dan i can only handle so many balls at one time’

1:16amJackie

do they include mine

1:16amRachel

john wants dan so bad i can tell

see?

seeeeeee?

1:16amJackie

why is john talking in the third person all of the sudden?

jeez these guys are not smart!

1:16amRachel

JACK… when i don’t use the quotes it’s what i say

1:16amJackie

love you rachel

yeah i forgot

1:16amRachel

it’s cool

you’re a woman and not so bright

jk

1:17amJackie

thanks

rachel, you’re the smartest one. you can save us all!

or doom us all…

1:18amRachel

this was a very i wish i would’ve documented this

it was a very good art prokecy

din’t you feel like we didn’t

this iws what happen

this is why the un doesn’t function

1:19amJackie

‘tell john that i really like that maroon sweatshirt. it looks very good on him;

aaooooow

1:19amRachel

i don’t need words any more

‘my guns do all the talking for me’

1:20amJackie

lock and load baby!

1:21amRachel

john is totally aroused

1:21amJackie

good *wink*

1:21amRachel

please dan not in public

1:22amJackie

fair enough. later. when no one is around

baby

1:22amRachel

except maybe fred

jackie can you ask dan to ask john to put his sweatshirt back on

1:22amJackie

wtf is wei chang doing? she’s just sitting there. it’s kinda weird dontcha think

tell john to take ALL of it off

1:23amRachel

‘i’ll give you a dollar to steal wei chang’s orange’

1:24amJackie

i think its a tangerine

1:24amRachel

‘fuck you faggot’

1:24amJackie

deal!

pay up!

1:24amRachel

‘that’s why i’m a shortstop’

<snap>

fuck!

fuck exclamation point

1:25amJackie

me?

me??

1:26amRachel

“f my l’

L

F MY L

it was an L

L

L

l

L

L

L

1:26amJackie

call john a filthy slut

john is a filthy slut!!!!!

not a classy one either

don’t play with balls you can’t handle

1:27amRachel

(no response)

1:28amJackie

BI-ATCH!

1:28amRachel

“at least i don’t sell out for a dollar you whore”

1:28amJackie

but i’m a classy whore

unlike you you filthy slut!

i’m a lady of the night dammit. and good one!

1:29amRachel

‘i’ve never been called a filthy slut before’

that’s hard for me to believe-rachel

1:29amJackie

not like that crazy bitch from american psycho who got killed by the chainsaw. she’s a dumbass

now, she was a whore!

1:30amRachel

‘i’m leaving and i’m taking the purple sex pillow with me’

‘you can have your fucking bour-BON’

1:31amJackie

what about juan’s phone number? the know, the big latino guy we met at the club last week…the guy who dances on you

1:31amRachel

‘at least i don’t need a rolex watch up my ass to get turned on’

1:32amJackie

not a rolex, a mercedes would do the trick

*not only a rolex

or tom hanks

1:33amRachel

we’re done, we’re done here